Black Jack Madness - WTF?

I went on the computer last night and went to visit some of these Japanese Black Jack fan art websites my friend found for me. So as I was surfin', I started scribbling on this piece of paper my sister had doodled the Phantom of the Opera on (see top left corner).

However, the freakier the Japanese sites got, the creepier the Black Jack fan art got (and hoo, boy! it got real dang creepy), the more and more messed up my scribbles became. Eventually, I ended up doing this demented pseudo-soliloquy where I am actually yelling at myself through Black Jack. (That's why I put this under surreal and not fan art... Black Jack is representing a part of me.)

Whenever I visit Japanese fan art websites, a peculiar illness befalls me. It is a combination of the realization that I'm a horrid artist compared to my Japanese counterparts, and the really, really, REALLY weird pictures they draw. This happened to me when I went to Lord of the Rings sites, and now it's happening again when I go to Black Jack ones. It is all a sign of how devastated I am by my disturbing psychological infatuation over fictional characters.

Anyway! Believe it or not, but my hand writing is actually good on this picture! Despite that fact, I think that I need to provide you a little "map" to what I barfed out over that page.

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ME: JAPANESE! Japanese everywhere! -->

ME: It's eating away at me like the plague. {{WASTED! Boo-yeah, gramma!}} -->

BLACK JACK: BEHOLD! It is I, your emaciated savior come to save you from this madness and sweep you off to a fantasy-land where you and I shall live together forever in mind-numbing bliss! -->

BLACK JACK: And where better to deliver you from your condition than the very land that embodies pure mental insanity... JAPAN! {{JAPAN... LAND OF ARTISTS YOU'LL NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER BE BETTER THAN! (You dirty American she-dog.)}} -->

ME: Holy fook. -->

BLACK JACK: Ah, yes, you delusional, sickening little child. Even I, the bleeding genius that I am, could not have put that better. And now, if you have properly lost all pathetic shreds of your simple mind, I will finish this once and for all. -->

Never Mind -->

FORGET THIS ONE, TOO -->

ME: OH, SENSEI! This is truly the moment I was brought into being for! {{Love, love, love}} -->

BLACK JACK: -->

BLACK JACK SILENCE! SILENCE, INSOLENT YANKEE TROLLOP! I do not, nor have I ever, intended to do you anything that would do you any good. Clearly, your perverted adoration of me has earned you unspeakable pain and pyschological damage, but I shall do nothing to relieve it! I refuse to feed into your twisted illusions and lies. Instead, you shall burn for your sickness. -->

TODAY'S LESSON

CHILDREN. Never, ever, I pray thee, ever visit Japanese fan art websites featuring Black Jack (and subsequent, er, pairings wherein), especially when half-awake and listening to Janne Da Arc.

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If you've read all that, I would like to give you a cookie. Oh, and by the way, Janne Da Arc is an awesome J-Pop band I wholly recommend checking out. They performed the opening song for the new Black Jack anime series.